Life is a balance between holding on and letting go, but have you ever been the brassbound person who believes what’s mine is mine. And the lust for possession crawls, stands, walks, runs, gallops and reaches its summit from materials to individuals. Possessiveness substantiates the fear of losing, insecurity and doubt in existence. Though it has a tag saying that it is the harvest of a unconditional love. But have you heard, what Osho has got to say about this, if you love a flower, don’t pick it up, because if you pick it up, it dies and ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.
Let me tell a short story, on a sunny day, a girl named Claude was watering all the plants in her garden, she saw a bird’s egg half broken from which an infant bird was striving to come out. She tried to help him, but in vain. But he succeeded in his efforts to step out and see the world. He chirped expecting his mother to be around. But what he saw was this girl with her keen eyes looking at him. She held him in her hand, admired his beauty and named him Joe. She saw the other eggs in the nest in one of the branches of the tree in her garden from which the egg possessing him fell off. She couldn’t find his mother nearby. So she took him to her home and locked him in a nest. She looked after him in her own way. She had the practice of taking him out of the nest every morning, hold him in her hand and feed his favorite seeds, as she assumed to be. She continued this practice for days. But the more tightly she held him in her hands, the more he wanted to leave the spot. She didn’t realize his identity, what he wants and what he ought to become. She wanted him to be with her in the so called beautiful nest she built for him, and she called it her love for him. One day, his determination to leave reached its apex and flew off, he didn’t want to come back yet he owed an explanation to her which he felt should’ve been understood by her if her love was genuine.
In life, we all have been Claude, in love with Joe, yet failed to understand what Joe really wanted to be. He had to lie in front of her to be happy so that she would be satisfied, but to the one we love unconditionally as we claim, what are we gifting them, a mask, a mask where they had to compromise their desires, where they had to pretend, where they had to cover their identity, where they had to suppress their happiness and where they had to become questionable to their own conscience. We are not realizing that the people who are meant to be in our lives will always gravitate towards us, no matter how far they wander. And as Mandy Hale stated, the person you’re meant to be with will never have to be chased, begged or given an ultimatum.
If you’re the possessive girl who expects your man to talk only with you, and not talk with any other girls, so that he may fall in love with any strangers who just crosses his path, what are you trying to make him, your pet dog, how are you expecting him to be truthful when you want him to be the person you wish for, utter the only words you wanna listen and pretend to be someone else who he is not. Who are you to tell him that he is not allowed to spend time with his mother, who raised him through thick and thin all those years, who are you to tell him that he’s not allowed to buy any gifts for his sister, who loved him more than his parents, who are you to tell him that he cannot sort out his cousin’s problems with whom he grew up, who are you to tell him that he is not allowed to click pictures with his female friends who cares him more than his own blood and are the hidden reason behind his every patch-up with you, who are you to decide his life ? A girl who loves him unconditionally and who would replace all these positions! Ridiculous, darling, this is mere insecurity and the thirst for the power of possession. It’s not only about the other females in his life, you question every other relation in his life, just to retain your power over him. Dear, if he wears a mask in front of you, the flaw is yours, you didn’t understand his needs, his desires, his aspirations, his goals, his experiences, his responsibilities, his happiness, his fears, his tears and forced him in your conversations, in your lifestyle and in your perspective of how you want him to be. Oh, there comes she, I should stop being me, I should check what’s around me, what lie should I pick to convince her, and to fix my mask appropriately is better than Oh, there comes she, I can be me. Just think, once, placing yourself in his mother’s position, in his sister’s position and whosoever person’s position whom you push harder from his life, before you enforce your rules over him, believe me, that would rip your hearts for the self centered being you are. Believe me, you would never be able to fill the void space you created in his life by negotiating them and you’ll be never loved by him for what you’ve done to him, as their memories would never leave his heart. Never underestimate the sense of bliss in liberty and space; and the comfort in silence, that’s when your souls start to feel that you are meant to be together. The vice versa applies to every possessive boy, and I wouldn’t address him a real man either.
Give the ones you love,
Wings to fly, Roots to come back, and Reasons to stay !