The Misconceptions

“When I think of him”, she began, “I really want to think about him, how his name suits him, girls naturally get attracted to him, I suppose, that’s because of his fair complexion, and also because of his smile, even I liked his smile, it was killing, it was magnetic, but it was amiable also, and his gestures towards everyone was appealing, the impression was deceiving, he seems shy, not very friendly, he has a shell concealing his identity, I felt like talking with him, I want to compliment him, I grabbed courage and neared him, I smiled, he smiled back, I asked for his phone number, he was clueless, I shouldn’t have, he would have definitely misunderstood my intentions, he thought for a while, he didn’t look at me, he gave his number, and didn’t ask for mine, I felt ashamed, I hesitated to talk with him, she didn’t seem to mingle with many, I wasn’t either, maybe we’re similar, maybe not, as he didn’t seem to notice my efforts, that’s alright, I will initiate a conversation, and I did. He didn’t respond, as I expected, I am not gonna compel him, that might be like intruding in his personal space, I thought. But to my surprise, he started to respond, maybe I pestered him to, with fillers. That doesn’t interest me, and it was like insulting me, but I didn’t give up, I don’t know why, maybe because I felt a connection with him, I sensed. Very little was his efforts, but that was sufficient, for me. He had respect when he spoke with me, I felt superior, but I realized that’s because he wasn’t admissive. I guess, he needs time. When I take ten steps forward, he takes twenty steps backward, I was constantly failing in my efforts. I wonder, what am I trying to do, to get rid of his introversion, was a vindication but that’s gonna benefit him, I don’t know, but it definitely will, maybe I don’t have anything else to do about my life, no, that’s not true, I have, but I still want him to be hospitable, I want to be convinced that he is no more constricted and inhibited. How that’s gonna pyramid me, I didn’t know, but I felt good about what I ought to do, hence I chose to remain quiet for some time, that triggered him somehow, I wonder now, the mentality of men, when I tend to him, he runs away from me, when I stand farther, he offers his hand, I thought he’ll open up, he’ll break his shell and come out, rather, he allowed me in, and closed it, I began to know him, know him not like what his curriculum vitae says, but know him like how his mirror see him. He didn’t rush, it was a clean slow process. He was precise and confident when he uncovered each layers of his identity. He trusted me, and I was considerate too. I didn’t expect this coming, but this was beautiful than I ever thought. I was protective in his shell, I didn’t bother about the true purpose, but he rather understood, I was the one who needed help, the one who is broken, the one who is reserved and constricted, the who doesn’t open up, and the one who craves love, he decided to open his shell and let me out, but chose to accompany me, and finally, the shell was broken, he let me see the world binding my hands with his, with an invisible thread, and I succeeded in what I ought to do, to bring him out of his shell. He started to mingle with people as I wanted to be, made friends and opened up. That created a distance between us, but I didn’t miss him, he was always there, when I needed him. I noticed him from that distance he created, but the more I knew him, the more I was pushed farther. That’s why, when I think of him, I wanna think about his name, how it suited him, how he smiled, what he likes, what he doesn’t, what he orders in a restaurant, what annoys him, what his pet peeves are, what his deepest desires are, what it would be like to spend time with him, what he looks for when he enters a room, what his silence conveys, when will he be angry, when will he be upset, when will he be hurt, when will he be jealous, when will he be disappointed, I knew everything, he was fascinated at first, but later, oh, dear, that was your fault, he might have thought, people wondered, how our thoughts are synchronized, how strong is our telepathy, I wonder sometimes, how did all this happen, in a short period of time, how did this impact me that it would kill me like a slow poison every moment. The void space and the ignorance was heading to its summit in every manner, ripping my heart further. We had different opinions, but never difference in opinions, maybe I understood a little above than what he ought to convey. That could be a blessing but not in my case. The medicine to an injury became the addiction. I realized, I am the only one who is still endured to the invisible thread. How ridiculous it could proceed further? The one who initiated backing up, would have helped, but I didn’t, because that has never been there in my list of choices, I never gave up on him, and I will never, because the trust he had on me would have faded from his perspective, but that has been the light that saved me from my inner demons in darkness, and the promise he held, still lingers in my ears, somewhere down the heart, I still believe him”, she confessed, “who is he? The love of your life?” she was asked, “A friend for life…” she corrected with tears welling her eyes.

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2 thoughts on “The Misconceptions

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  1. “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light”. You know, JKR delivers quite a strong notion to the mankind with those words.
    Time has various powers. Ask me which impresses me more, I’ll say with a sad smile, ‘It has the power to heal’. So I’m wounded now. No! My thoughts are, but you know what, that hurts more!

    Liked by 1 person

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